VIDEO : The New iPad Mini

We’ve taken everything you love about the iPad, and re-envisioned it as a go-anywhere device that will fit in your pocket,” the narrators of the parody video above state.

The so-called iPad mini has a “revolutionary” four-inch display and can wirelessly connect to the “gigantic global network of tubes.”

It also uses a “cornea display” that harnesses the world’s first “micronized particle accelerator,” which projects electrons on the display at nearly the speed of light — “a first for any portable device.”

And of course, in true Apple style, there is one more thing:

“You can use it to make phone calls.”

-mashable